How We Met: Shannon Boodram & Jared Brady
I'm in an open relationship I know crazy right? Here's how we chose this title and why it works best for us. Love to you oxo. Sep 13, I was attracted to the idea of an open relationship a couple years ago because source for me was relationship and sex expert Shan Boodram. Jul 5, Shan Boodram @shanboody Jul 5. More. Copy link to .. I hope to have a long, happy marriage/partnership like the two of you have. 1 reply 0.
Then, it just kind of started to transition into: I'm taking the role of something else. Naturally, being in an open relationship can be tough, it'll be tough if you go on a date. I have every thought that every normal person would have and vice versa, I'm sure.
If I go on a date or if I'm with some other girl, I'm pretty sure all the same thoughts go through that. But I think the challenge is mitigating that and understanding that love is bigger than yourself. I guess our communicating who the person that you're going on a date with is to you, understanding that you can't be all things for one person. I guess it's understanding your role and what I am to her - that is a help for me.
Yes, I think it's general that just knowing who you are to that person and knowing about that. I know how valuable I am to Jared and know our relationship. I know how positive we are for each other on every level. If he goes out to experience something or share something with someone different, then that's okay.
I think it's just reminding yourself that like what am I so afraid of? What is the alternative? The alternative to me feeling jealous right now, is me feeling like I'm holding someone back. I think that, that would be far worse. I mean, my least favorite thing [about living with each other] is sometimes the people you bring around. My job is so extroverted and I'm an ambivert.
- Shan Boody & Jared Brady On How They Went From Friends With Benefits To A Committed Relationship
- What are your feelings on open relationships?
We've lived in this building now for like two years almost, I do not know one person's name here. I don't want to make friends laughs. When I'm at home, I really like not having to put on a face. Jared, when you do have friends over, you usually are being productive and I'm so happy that you are productive and doing things that you love. I'm happy that you're getting time to grow and expand.
I'm happy that you allow me to close the door and not come out and speak with people and that's okay. What is the toughest thing living with you? I think the toughest thing is a give and take like it's going to sound funny. The way that usually works here is that she'll cook and I'll clean. When she cooks, she doesn't have to clean. So, she doesn't cook with the knowingness of having to clean. But that's not even tough, like she was saying.
It's just one of those things. I haven't had to cook in two years. I haven't done laundry in two years laughs. I think my favorite thing about living with Shannon would be the space and the allowance that she gives me to make mistakes.
I grew up with a dad that was very military-like and very critical of every move that I make. I think my favorite thing with living with her is just the space that she gave me to learn.
I have to say the sex [is my favorite part about living with you]. I think it's the unexpected sex in different times of days and just, I don't know, it's affection really. Like, you let me. I guess I can be the best parts of myself and have somebody who would bring out the best in me and accepts the worst in me. That's a really cool experience on a daily basis.
There's a lot of things that I told myself before this relationship. I told myself I couldn't live with people because my last relationship was such a nightmare. I told myself that I'm a selfish person in a relationship and it's difficult for me to really see my partner. I told myself that I don't really understand men that well. A lot of things I think as a result of failed relationships that I just kind of came to know with who I was and then being with somebody where the fit is good, I'm like, "No, it's not me.
I am good at living with people. I am a loving person. Together, the sexual interest and whatever information was available, led me to a super shitty sex life as a teen.
What made you focus on being an advocate for safe sex? Two, aside from my one-on-one counseling service, I constantly meet people who are a face of the statistics.
Shannon Boodram (Interview)
I know a lot of stories. How much do you think love and sex are connected in relationships? People put too much magic and mystery in what love is, and not enough science, practicality, and sexuality.
Adding science and a sexual understanding to your relationships will greatly help you understand love and help you to make better choices for yourself.
Love is not all mystery, magic, and connection. Love is chemical levels. Love is your endocrine system. Love is your nervous system, and when you understand how those things work in tandem with your feelings, you can get a better sense of control. How does one incorporate science into relationships? It is a matter of programming.
For example, at age 16, your pelvic floor fuses. Your cock-stick and sacrum come together. You now have a child-bearing hips that are ready to go.
What are your feelings on open relationships? | Lipstick Alley
This is that time of the month. This is what my body is gonna urge me to do, so let me make a better decision. Love is a neurological condition. Why sex is addictive for women is because after an orgasm we release oxytocin which intensifies bonding. Also, love is addictive. The reason why sex is addictive for women is because after an orgasm we release oxytocin—and especially if we cuddle after sex, our bodies release oxytocin—which intensifies bonding.
I hope that that frees people from the slavery one can go through in relationships. The love and sex part of your life can be very stressful, very confusing, very emotional, but with more understanding, it can be something you look at more in hindsight. You then may have better control of making a right decision. Once you make right decisions and choose the right people, it is magical, it is emotional, and it is you letting down your guard.
What has your experience been with dating when considering what you cover in your career?