A Daily Dispatch of Relationship and Dating Advice - Love Letters
Falling in love through letter writing has been going on for hundreds of years. Online relationships are an improved version of a writing-based. During the month of Valentine's Day, many of us think about our most significant relationships. Young couples think about grand and romantic. I have been keeping these letters for 36 years now. They are a series of letters I wrote to my wife-to-be when we were dating. She kept them for.
Outrageous love is an action which emerges spontaneously from the outrageous love which is the very essence of reality.
Loveletters | GaiGai – Singapore Love, Dating & Relationship Tips
Outrageous Love is the Eros of evolution which awakens in us and as us. It is sourced in a deeper seeing, a capacity for perception and is not merely a reactive emotion which eventually wears off.
Perception is a capacity of consciousness that only deepens over time. The more we cleanse our doors of perception the deeper the experience and emotion of love. If we love each other now with only the limited perception that are available to us today, then naturally, after years of deeper of truly knowing one another, our love will grow exponentially in both intensity and depth.
Instead of love growing stale and eventually disappearing which is the inevitable trajectory of ordinary love, Outrageous love invites us to a path where love grows ever more powerful, passionate, vital and erotic in the fullness of time. It is only that Outrageous Love, which has the sustaining power to transform both our personal lives and our planet. I remember sharing this particular distinction around the nature of love in a dialogue I had with my friend, the Dalai Lama, in his home in Dharamsala.
He was so excited. Being science friendly in that way that he is, he further realized correctly that the concept of outrageous love is not fanciful conjecture but rather emerges from an integration of the leading edges of mystical science, physics and evolutionary theory. There is not one self that lives in us. The more we engage in the great game of personal transformation the more we are able to access the deeper voices of self that live within us.
Just like there is a baby self and an adolescent self which reflect different stages of physical and psychological growth there is an ego and essence self which reflect different levels of spiritual growth. Ordinary love is a strategy of the ego self. Outrageous love is a natural expression of essence. The ego self is narcissistic, mindlessly competitive and contracted.
The essence self is creative, outrageously loving and expansive. The move from ordinary love to outrageous love is precisely the movement from ego to essence. It is no surprise therefore that the core distinction between ordinary love and Outrageous Love appears directly in the patterns of heart wave. The heart has long been recognized as having its own intelligence, independent and prior to the rational mind.
Science has now done the HeartMath to decisively conclude, based on over a dozen rigorous studies, that outrageous love and ordinary love literally produce different heart patterns. The heart wave patterns of ordinary love are jagged, crooked and what science has called incoherent.
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The heart wave patterns of Outrageous Love are sloping and beautiful, what science has called coherent. Love which generates coherent heart patterns yield a series of immunological, neurochemical, hormonal, psychological and health benefits which have been clearly measured and documented. The distinction between ordinary love and outrageous love runs much deeper however than even the distinctions between action and reaction, perception and emotion.
Ordinary love or ego love, will neither awaken, transform, nor satisfy us. The only love that can take us home is Outrageous love. However outrageous love at its core is none of the above. It is not merely the emotion of falling of love.
It is not merely an emotion. It is not merely human. It is the pulsating, erotic, love intelligence that initiated the great flaring forth of reality that we call the big bang.
It is the force of allurement and attraction that moves all of existence. It is the invisible lines of connection that entangle evolves and animate all of reality. The difference between ordinary love and outrageous love is the whole difference. All the great promises of love are true. But they refer not to ordinary love but to Outrageous Love. That is perhaps the most critical hidden teaching of the great mystical wisdom traditions.
It is this realization — shared in different languages — that is the most significant shared depth structure of all the great traditions. Ordinary love will not get you there. Only outrageous love will take you home. This phrase does not refer to ordinary love. It refers to Outrageous Love. What is the difference between the two? Understanding that difference is the single most important piece of wisdom you can own. It is the change that changes everything, the key to all transformation.
The kabbalistic masters expressed this distinction as love before creation and love after creation. Ordinary love is reactive. Outrageous Love is proactive. It does not merely react to other. It seeks out other to love. This field has been known my many names. It has been called the field of holy apples by the kabbalists, the Christ field by mystical Christians, the field beyond good and evil by Sufis and the Zero Point field by leading edge voices in post quantum science.
It is the field that mystics have always known and the leading edge of physics is now discovering. In writing Outrageous Love letters the field of outrageous love intelligence that connects, animates and suffuses of all of reality awakens in you and as you. You awaken as an outrageous lover. You live, for the first time, with an open heart. Outrageous Pain and Outrageous Love When we look around us we are bombarded by constant images and facts of horrific pain.
We are fully aware that as we go about our daily routine thousands of children are starving to death every day. When we truly feel into the reality around us we are overwhelmed by the enormity of the raw anguish.
Put together our internal wounds and tragedies, our routine lives, and the vast objective pain that surrounds us, it becomes almost unbearable. Our only reprieve from the pain comes from somehow closing our hearts and deadening our emotional nerve endings. Or at least we try and select carefully what to let in to our heart. We live in a world of outrageous pain. The only response to outrageous pain is outrageous love. Outrageous love is not ordinary love.
Ordinary love cannot hold outrageous pain. Ordinary love is reaction. That is ordinary love. But the feeling and the power that derive form it never last. Outrageous love is an action which emerges spontaneously from inside of us. It is only that can of love which has the sustaining power to transform both our personal lives and our planet Love which arises in response to something external to us is not at all bad.
Wake up to the realization that you are an Outrageous Love Letter. This is the core transformation of Identity, which changes everything.
Awakening as an Outrageous Lover through the Practice of Writing Outrageous Love Letters You can access Outrageous Love even when you are not spontaneously feeling it, because the practice of writing Outrageous Love letters itself kindles Outrageous Love.
The practice emerges from the mystical Song of Songs traditions, which itself is, in our understanding, a specific form of outrageous love letter. An outrageous love letter, which accesses Eros, is fully personal and yet radically transpersonal at the same moment. We have written thousands of outrageous love letters, to ourselves, to each other, to those in our circle, to God, to the universe itself.
Perhaps you think that to love outrageously is beyond your capacity. Only saints or enlightened beings love outrageously. It is time for the democratization of enlightenment. To love our way to enlightenment however we need to also democratize of outrageous love. There is no prophet to wait for. Rumi is not going to write your letter for you. The future is you. The old top-down world of religion and government is over. There is no messiah coming.
He has already come. These are not words of love parading in pretty costumes. This is the deepest truth of the cosmos that emerges from a profound reality consideration of where we are today, as individuals and as a collective. The practice is simple. All you need is your imagination. The practice that awakens your deeper identity as an outrageous love letter is no less and no more than writing outrageous love letters yourself. We usually rely on the great poets or sages for words of love.
We read the Sufi poet Rumi or others like him to find the love that lives in us. It is the time however to move beyond quoting the words and heart of others. It is time to democratize outrageous love.
In the outrageous love letter practice you awaken the Unique Self outrageous lover that lives in you and as you.
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You learn the practice of writing outrageous love letters, to those close to you. To those you may not know well but are part of your life. And when you are ready, even to people you feel are your adversaries or competitors. This practice liberates the unique outrageous love that is you, and awakens your capacity to commit outrageous acts of love.
Now you are ready to play the most outrageous game possible. Outrageous love becomes conscious through you. Outrageous Love is always evolving, because the outrageous Lover is always expanding her heart.
Following the laws of love and writing outrageous love letters brings us to the final stage of awakening. The last stage of your awakening is when you realize that your life is an outrageous love letter. Your sacred autobiography is a love letter from God to God bearing your name. Your story is an outrageous love letter from the infinite to the finite sealed with your signature. But it goes still one level deeper. All of reality is really an outrageous love letter from God to you.
Read God, the Tao, the reality principle, the evolutionary impulse. It is a personal love letter to you. It took the evolutionary impulse This is the outrageous love letter from infinity to you written in the script of your Unique Self. When you awaken and live your Unique Self expression, committing outrageous acts of love — as an awakened outrageous lover — then you are writing an outrageous love letter back to God.
Imagine God, the evolutionary impulse sending an outrageous love letter to you in the form of your atomic, cellular and spiritual signature. Feel her yearning over the millennia. First she waits for the letter to be delivered over billions of years. Then you are born. The clock starts ticking and SHE waits with bated breath and virtually desperate yearning to receive your return letter. Imagine her going to the mailbox every day, opening the box to see if a letter has arrived.
The letter that you write back to God is Your Unique Self. When you awaken to your Unique Self you are awakening as an irreducibly unique expression of the Zero Point field. The God field, the field of outrageous love intelligence. You are awakening into your divinity. We end as we began. Your life story is an outrageous love letter from God to God signed with your name. This is the realization that changes everything. You begin to be lived as love, Outrageous Love.
You begin to live the outrageous life that that you imagined in the dreams that you long ago forgot. You begin to commit outrageous acts of love. Outrageous Love gives you direct and sustained access to a level of aliveness, wisdom, Eros and joy that you had not only forgotten.
You forgot that you had forgotten. Outrageous love is the memory of your possible future. Or by mystical Christianity as living Christ energy. Or by the kabbalists as liberated God consciousness. First, it is always worth remembering that the God you do not believe in does not exist.
We are not talking about the Santa Claus god or the older man with the long white beard sitting on a throne. Here we must return to our conversation on intimacy.
The great traditions experience God as infinity. They emphasize particularly the infinity of power and knowledge, Omnipotence and Omniscience. Which simply means infinitely powerful and infinitely knowing. But the outrageous love mystic senses a different infinity in the divine, the infinity of intimacy. Spoken in personal terms, God is the infinity of intimacy. The deepest realization you can have as a person is to know that you live in an intimate universe. If I exchange numbers with someone and they will not commit to plans, I give them two weeks and that is it.
I am not ghosting men by any means. I send a polite text saying that it's great to keep in touch by text, but I am not looking for a pen pal. I do leave the door open and tell them that when they have time they know how to reach me, but usually I never hear from them again. I know this may seem close-minded, but is there ever really a good time to cut your losses and move on?
I think I'm placing an expectation out there, while my friends think I am unreasonable. You can tell your friends I said so.