So after ten years in relationships, I found myself alone. I'm thirty-one and single! Recently some questions have bounced around in mind: What happened to me. After being hurt in our earliest relationships, we fear being hurt again. accept love and enjoy loving relationships can also be negatively affected by existential issues. .. My mom finally dated someone after 9 years being single after my dad . Oct 13, In your relationships, what do you do out of fear of being alone? Do you Today, while not all the problems are healed, they are on their way to.
Sadly, we hold on to our negative self-attitudes and are resistant to being seen differently. Because it is difficult for us to allow the reality of being loved to affect our basic image of ourselves, we often build up a resistance to love. These negative core beliefs are based on deep-seated feelings that we developed in early childhood of being essentially bad, unlovable or deficient. While these attitudes may be painful or unpleasant, at the same time they are familiar to us, and we are used to them lingering in our subconscious.
Understanding Fear of Intimacy
As adults, we mistakenly assume that these beliefs are fundamental and therefore impossible to correct.
Instead, during times of closeness and intimacy, we react with behaviors that create tension in the relationship and push our loved one away. Here are some common ways people distance themselves emotionally as a result of a fear of intimacy: Withholding affection Reacting indifferently or adversely to affection or positive acknowledgement Becoming paranoid or suspicious of a partner Losing interest in sexuality Being overly critical of a partner Feeling guarded or resistant to being close How to Overcome a Fear of Intimacy?
In order to overcome our fear of intimacy, we must challenge our negative attitudes toward ourselves and not push our loved ones away. It is possible to challenge our core resistance to love.
We can confront our negative self-image and grow our tolerance for a loving relationship. We can overcome our fears of intimacy and enjoy more loving and more intimate relationships. The experience of real love often threatens our self-defenses and raises our anxiety as we become vulnerable and open ourselves up to another person. This leads to a fear of intimacy. Falling in love not only brings excitement and fulfillment; it also creates anxiety and fears of rejection and potential loss.
For this reason many people shy away from loving relationships. Fear of intimacy begins to develop early in life. As Maya Angelou says, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Shrug your shoulders and move on. It's their loss, not yours. No, really -- it is. Work on making yourself the kind of person you would want to date. Jerry McGuire had it wrong. Don't look for someone to "complete you. Re-read 2 and 3 as often as you need to in order to get that lesson.
You want someone to think "Wow! This person is dating ME?!?! Learn to love your own company. If you don't believe me, then you are wrong. Everyone is perfect in their own way.
The problem is, many people -- especially single people -- don't believe it. It's okay to spend a Saturday night alone with yourself and a movie and a glass of wine. As you do, you should say to yourself what my mother always says, "I wonder what the peasants are doing?
What Your Fear of Loneliness Is Really About
There are still good people out there. Again, don't buy into the myths that "all the good ones are taken.
You're not taken, right? Well, I rest my case! If you're single and available, then not all the good ones are taken. So you just need to get out of your own head and stop believing those lies that society tells you.
If You Don't Like Being Single, You Need To Read This | HuffPost
There are plenty of good eligible singles out there for you to match up with. One of the things that singles don't like is that they can't predict the future. They think, Will I be alone forever?
Will I be an old maid? Where should I go to meet people? Lots of people don't like uncertainty and unanswered questions. But uncertainty brings a ton of opportunity.
Your options are endless!! And that's a good thing! You just need to believe that it is, too. Focus on what you have, not what you don't. This is rule 1 of the Law of Attraction. If you're not familiar with it, I suggest you read about it.
When you focus on the negativity of being single, you are only putting negative vibrations out there to everyone. They will pick up on it. Focus on your great job, wonderful friends, your health, your car, food on your table -- you name it. When you focus on the good things, your vibration will change to being positive. Other people will pick up on it and want to be around you even more than they already do.
Keep busy with things that make you happy. Do you like running? Join a running group! Do you love to read? Join a book club! Do you like to go to happy hour with your friends? The more you keep busy, the less you'll focus on the negatives of being single but there really aren't any negatives -- only what you think are negatives.