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Household Chores Who does the dishes, who vacuums the living room, who takes the dog out: Divvying up these domestic responsibilities can be a ruff and rocky road in any relationship. I sure like him.
Work This of course, segues into another big area of contention: Whether two people are both managing work, or one has a job outside while the other is more home-based, making time for each other can be difficult.
When you throw a dog into the mix, it can be even more stressful, even when you manage to have time alone. Communication Finding fair ways to fight —and resolve fights—is key to any healthy relationship.
As Rob pointed out: But that lifestyle plus managing a relationship in a small apartment with roommates and two medium-sized dogs…we had different viewpoints on that and trying to keep up with everything, navigating it, became a challenge very quickly.
There was no return address on it, but the front had a picture of a dog, and then inside was handwritten a bunch of woofs that were smeared in a brown paint that looked like dog poop.
Couples in it for the long-haul don't shy away from discussing topics that could just as easily be swept under the rug. I don't want to move to there!
They start slow and take turns talking.
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Arguments generally end the same way they began, said Bonnie Ray Kennan, a marriage and family therapist based in Southern California. Couples who've mastered the art of arguing fairly take things slow, addressing difficult conversations with a soft, reassuring tone and dialing it down whenever things get too emotionally charged.
They don't name call. Happy couples in long-term relationships rarely get into knock-down, drag-out fights because they don't lower themselves to school-yard tactics: They know how to cool down.
When things do get out of hand, savvy arguers know how to get a grip on their emotions. They value taking a time out, whether that means counting to 10 and taking slow, deep breaths or simply telling their spouse, "Hey, can we revisit this in the morning? When both partners are able to soothe themselves and take breaks, they're usually able to reach a resolution or agree to disagree! They set ground rules for arguments. It's not that long-time couples have never resorted to low blows or have said something regrettable during an argument.
They have in the past -- and then they learned from the mistake. Once the emotionally charged fight ends, smart couples lay down some ground rules for arguing so it never gets out of hand again, said author and relationship expert Mario P.