Relationship breakdown because of my Depression and Anxiety
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 9 months. The first few weeks of getting together I can only describe as bliss, and I was the. People with social anxiety disorder may constantly worry how they Anxiety and Romantic Relationships . Heart Disease and Depression. But how do you manage when depression or anxiety are part of a committed relationship? It isn't easy. Depression and anxiety can magnify and distort emotions.
Without treatment, anxiety and depression disorders can restrict a person's ability to work, maintain relationships, or even leave the house.
Relationship Between Depression and Anxiety | HealthyPlace
Both anxiety and depression treatment are similar, which may explain why the two disorders are so often confused. Antidepressant medication is often used for anxiety and depression and behavioral therapy frequently helps people overcome both conditions. Why Are Depression and Anxiety Linked? Although no one knows exactly why, depression and anxiety often occur together. Other anxiety disorders include obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD.
Because they so often go hand in hand, anxiety and depression are considered the fraternal twins of mood disorders. Believed to be caused in part by a malfunction of brain chemistry, generalized anxiety is not the normal apprehension one feels before taking a test or awaiting the outcome of a biopsy. With no real choice but to continue to meet and discover this guy and hell, am I glad I didI wondered if perhaps managing something like this - really liking someone and all the risks it brings - was a good test for my newly growing happiness.
Could I keep the vulnerability of a growing liking for someone, coupled with the uncertainty and risk of rejection and the fact that, should that happen, I would inevitably universalise it and take it as an example of my possible inability to conduct real romantic relationships any more separate from the obsessive, depressive element of my personality?
Managing depression and anxiety in a committed relationship That was the early days. And despite the uncertainties being countered by excitement and the rushes of dopamine and norepinephrine, I'm glad they're over. But how do you manage when depression or anxiety are part of a committed relationship? Depression and anxiety can magnify and distort emotions. You need to be on your guard. When looking through their unnatural lens, you can start to feel that there is a problem with the relationship, or with one party within it.
I like how it externalises the course most relationships run at some point, and shows how support can help a couple avoid crisis.
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A more detailed diagram shows the ongoing post-crisis path at different levels. With the right support a couple can return to the original path. Well, in my experience; Establish it as something external to you both - distinguish between what is you and your relationship and what is the depression or anxiety. Step back and set yourselves up as a team, dealing with and managing the illness together.
Viewing it as external to you both stops it being associated purely with one individual or becoming too intertwined with the rest of the relationship. A lot of people say they find a metaphor such as the black dog useful as a way to clearly define the illness as an external party.Tony Robbins: What to Do When Depression and Anxiety ( Tony Robbins Depression )
This brings me nicely on to; Find your own language to talk about it and use this to help your partner understand.
Personally, when I get very low I get needy and dependent. Because these are more negative experiences one might have in a relationship anyway, it's important to identify that these are a result of the depression or anxiety and not of something else going on. Try and identify how the illness makes you interact differently and explain this. Saying 'when I'm low, I feel really needy, so I might be a bit dependent and irrational today' sets you up much better to manage the day than communication purely based on the current feeling of neediness 'why are you going out today, I really want you to stay in, do you even love me?
This leads me on to; Examine your motivations before you act If you are feeling depressed, a symptom of that might be that you feel needy and dependent. If your partner doesn't realise this is a symptom of your depression they may well feel your behaviour is irrational - and tell you so. You might feel that they don't understand you and respond by ignoring them or going quiet and refusing to open up.
But what is your motivation here? Fundamentally, what you might want is for your partner to pay you the attention your 'needy feeling' wants today.
But playing these kind of games isn't the most straightforward way to get there. It may well start an argument or cause upset when it doesn't go your way and, for example, they just leave 'because you're ignoring me'. So instead - before you take an action which might affect your relationship - try to establish what it is that you really need and think about whether there is a clearer, more open path to get it.
Build your own interests — If you are putting all of your focus on a romantic relationship, chances are you are going to feel anxious.
People who have solid relationships with family and friends and put focus on their own personal goals and interests are likely to make better partners, and they are less likely to experience separation anxiety or uncertainty about the relationship.
Anxiety and Romance: Managing Relationship Anxiety
Examine your thinking — Anxiety makes it difficult to objectively assess whether a worry is legitimate. Consider whether you need to work on managing your anxiety through healthy habits, communicate better with your partner, or address issues of concern in the relationship.
Share your values — Sometimes people in relationships are so focused on making another person like them that they forget to speak up for their own values and needs. The earlier you can set the precedent for sharing your needs in a relationship, the less likely you are to feel resentful. Avoiding is only a temporary solution, and it often ends in heated conflict.